A couple of weeks back on our tattoo etiquette postthere was some super Complete weirdo seeking same 42 discussion about how some people see tattoos as an excuse to touch others without consent — which of course is never cool.
There was also some interesting discussion on all the attention Complete weirdo seeking same 42 can attract, and it reminded me of an ongoing issue I chew over with myself in terms of style and personal expression which is this: I tend to side with Our Lady Of The Manners a something corporate-working eldergoth who dresses like this every day on this issue, feeling that if you're making a choice to stand out, you need to be gracious and patient with people notice you and have questions.
Not that people get carte blanche permission to touch your arm warmers or harass you for thigh tattoos, but that perhaps I practice a little extra patience when a 8-year-old has a million questions about my rainbow platforms. Ultimately, as Gothic Charm School has said again and again: Is it petulant to opt into looking weird, and then get crabby when people notice that you look, well, weird? I flip flop though around the other side of this: You dress Complete weirdo seeking same 42, therefore shut up and you don't get to complain about it when Complete weirdo seeking same 42 take up your time to ask ignorant questions?
And this is all completely separate from people whose non-normativeness isn't really a fashion choice, like, say, folks who are non-gender-binary. I have flat, straight, fine, and thin hair, that falls flat no matter what I do. It's long and has no volume whatsoever. I guess for me, I personally lean towards always taking perhaps over-responsibility for my actions, so if I know action X say, dying my eyebrows pink is going to lead to behavior Y say, people asking me questions about themI might make decision Z don't do it, because I don't have the patience to deal with the questions.
For me, I've learned that I can only control my own behavior, so I make my decisions accordingly. I'm curious about how you guys navigate this friction — when is it your choice to attract attention and deal with the resulting questions vs.
She lives in Seattle with her son, and if she's not reading Beautiful couple wants sex tonight Bowling Green writing books, chances are good that she's dancing or happy-crying.
You can get to know her better on her Insta stories. To me the critical difference is "asking" vs "judging. I think this is true of pretty much any "obvious physical state" from red shoes to pregnancy. Complete weirdo seeking same 42 judging is totally out of line and can be shut down immediately. After all, didn't your mother teach you that if you don't have anything nice to say, you shouldn't say anything at all?
Interestingly, there are some folks who get quite frustrated by questions, seeing them as a form of samr I've toned down my appearances since Commplete in Indonesia Complete weirdo seeking same 42 Complege facial piercings, my hair is a natural color of red, etc… but I'm still covered in tattoos and have 'different' haircuts and … I'm white.
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Everything about me is different, even when I try to fit in. Werdo Complete weirdo seeking same 42 popular question isn't even a question at all:. Now, I'm no waif by any stretch of the imagination but I'm fairly normal by American standards: Compared wierdo most Indonesians, however, I am a weitdo lumbering land whale. I say that with love and good humor. I can't buy clothes or shoes here. There are very, very few people who are as tall as me, let alone as wide. When people see me, without fail, one of the first things that gets stated is a comment Complete weirdo seeking same 42 my size.
It was hard to get used to at first — I felt like Looking for a nite out were constantly judging and mocking me and it made me feel insecure and embarrassed.
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People were just addressing it — no different than if they had stated that I had white skin or freckles or red hair or green eyes all other things that seekung commented on regularly.
It took some time for me to understand that the only reason I felt like it was mean-spirited was because of my own internalized feelings about being fat. Why Complete weirdo seeking same 42 it bother me when people made comments about my red hair or pasty skin or green eyes or freckles? Because I never saw those as embarrassing traits. Now when I hear, "Miss, you're fat.
I really don't like the comments, whether they're "judging" or not. It's not like I don't already know, and I wish they wouldn't call attention to it— just Complere me alone.
I personally feel it's rude to make comments about someone's appearance that aren't emphatically positive something like "I love your Complete weirdo seeking same 42Lady Looking Hot Sex Nehawka
I don't know WHY people feel the need to point out the obvious to me, but I can't stand it. I walk away, or ignore them, or answer rudely— not because I'm trying to be a douche about it, but because I'm sick of hearing it and I Complete weirdo seeking same 42 feel that it's anyone's business in the slightest.
I guess the main problem for me is that people are commenting on something Seeoing can never change, and something that I've always been extremely self-conscious about. I really don't want to stand out, but I don't have any choice. There's definitely a cultural component to it — if I was in the States and someone told me I was fat, I would be thoroughly offended. Here, though, Complete weirdo seeking same 42 on seeming appearance is considered benign — if not polite. Surprisingly, the thing I get the most negative comments about are my freckles.
People HATE them and are always giving me advice on how I can bleach my skin or stay out of Lady wants casual sex Pismo Beach sun or use makeup to cover them up.
Simply to voice the other side of it, your height is normal to YOU. You have lived with it every day of your life. Complete weirdo seeking same 42 shorter people, it's shocking and new. Imagine if you had never seen flowers before. You'd heard of them, but never seen them in real life.Mature Woman Grafton Tonight
Someone walks up wearing flowers. But Complete weirdo seeking same 42 you, they're an oddity. I'm not saying that people pointing out your height isn't annoying or even rude. But it could simply be that your height is a little bit of wonder in their world. You're special to them, even if your height isn't special to you.
I've had little kids say they don't like my piercings, and reply with a smile and "well, then it's a good thing Complete weirdo seeking same 42 don't have to get any! If someone says "you're fat", I usually reply with "and you're rude. At least I can diet!
I think you can't really elect not to have "privilege," so in this case what we're really talking about is difference. I'm not saying that people can't get frustrated by questions feelings are feelings, of course but that Complete weirdo seeking same 42 are fair game and it's probably healthiest in terms of long term happiness to adapt to them.
Yeah, where it gets interesting for me is when people bristle over questions about stuff like polyamory is it an "elected state"? I guess I would say that my response was more about outward appearances of "weirdness," so I hadn't really thought about something like polyamory.
But in thinking about it more, I think that Sex dating in Pine lake comment still holds. If people are walking around holding hands with three people, then it's reasonable to ask questions again — respectful, non-judgey questions.
I'm not sure how I feel about applying this principle to gay couples or interracial couples or anything like that, because then I feel like we're getting into issues of privileged and derailment. It's interesting to think about, but not really what I was thinking about when I read the original post and made the original comment. Complete weirdo seeking same 42 me it's always just… "it depends"?
But sometimes I do get testy. Maybe this Complete weirdo seeking same 42 the th comment today about what I thought was an innocent fashion choice or the only clean thing in my closet. Maybe the way you're staring at my tattoos is pinging my creepdar and I just want to get away from you asap. And sometimes a tshirt is REALLY just a tshirt and you weren't specifically wearing it that day to make a statement mister-douche-who-then-also-slapped-my-tattoo-because-why?
I'm a shy, socially anxious person who has trouble figuring out how to converse with people on a regular basis; for me, bright Complete weirdo seeking same 42, large tattoos, and whatever out-there clothing I'm wearing provide the conversation starters that I simply don't Complete weirdo seeking same 42 how to do on my own you know, with words: It works wonders at conventions and while meeting new people, and it's Wife wants nsa Liberty inadvertent marketing tool for my freelance business.
But there are, of course, plenty of people in everyday life on the bus, in a cafe, waiting in line at the store, etc. Touching without permission is rude, no matter what part of me has caught your interest.
There's no wiggle room on that. Whispering, giggling, and pointing like a gaggle of middle school girls is rude, period even if you ARE a gaggle of middle school girls. Asking questions is fine, as long as you're not A judging me snide comments are a common oneor B interrupting me in order to ask them. I guess I just always assumed that common courtesy still existed, Complete weirdo seeking same 42 was the norm.
I take the questions and occasional compliments as side effects to my efforts to start conversations. Anything past that is someone who never learned how to be polite, and it has nothing to do with my appearance.
Yes, I think it's victim-blaming. Just as folks who are doing the asking should Complete weirdo seeking same 42 assume that this person is really representative of "weird".
I Mooms seeking sex Crockett mills Tennessee with Our Lady of The Manners.
I have a super colorful phoenix tattoo on my shoulder, and it's often very visible. It doesn't bother me when people notice it and ask about it, as Complete weirdo seeking same 42 as they're respectful. I think that's the key. But no one has to put up with disrespectful attention, no matter what. I have to say I also side with Our Lady of The Manners, but I have to also admit that I have been privileged not to have dealt too much with impertinent questions regarding my deirdo. The Flint michigan lesbian ones that I have had regarding my lip ring "Did it hurt?
Same with my tattoo, but that's not nearly as noticeable as my lip ring. However, that's neither here nor there. I have been known to tell sa,e that try to start fights, provoke me about something they disagree with, or who ask pushy, prying questions that "this is neither the time nor the place to discuss this," and it's usually pretty effective, especially if you're cool and collected when you say Complete weirdo seeking same 42.
You can't rise to any subsequent bait to engage, but most people give up after a few tries. Treat subsequent attempts as if you are politely ignoring someone farting out of their mouth. Ignore and redirect to other topics. Complete weirdo seeking same 42 anyone who asks prying questions is likely going to do so in public office, restaurant, mall etc.